How Do You Love: Our Morning Story

Photo credit and gratitude to Ashley Forrette Courter:

Photo credit and gratitude to Ashley Forrette Courter:

For those of you who have read and know the 5 Love Languages, I’m an Acts of Service kind of girl. Meaning, I feel most loved when people do something nice for me without me asking. Icing on the cake is when someone does something because they think it’ll help my day, week, month or life be better. I’m independent and I like to do my own thing and admittedly have a way I think most things should be done.

There are some things I’m good at (love, marketing, basketball, relationships, communication) and others that I’m not (cooking, getting up early, spreadsheets, going to the gym).

I like some meals and others, not so much.

Breakfast was once my least favorite meal of the day. I ate protein bars, cereal, protein shakes, and as all past college roommates of mine can attest (and now Maggie, too), OATMEAL nearly 365 days per year. Rich breakfast foods aren’t my thing and fried food makes me feel disgusting, so really… the options are limited.

On occasion, in the last 7 years, I’ve changed it up with some greek yogurt, berries, walnuts and honey.

I’m not sure what Maggie used to eat in the morning before I came along. However, she did manage to get me away from heating up my single serving multi flavored 1 minute microwavable Quaker oat packs and on over to steel cut oats, which as I understand are “better for us.” I agree. I feel better when I eat them.

One of the first times I stayed at Maggie’s house early in our relationship, she bought steel cut oats for us. She would get up first (she always has…) and she would sneak off to the kitchen and make us oats.

Anything is better when someone else has done it… mostly. Coffee is better when someone else buys or makes it, meals are better when someone else cooks it, jewelry means more when someone else picks it and buys it… Maggie’s oatmeal with steel cut oats, blueberries, walnuts and bananas were no different. They were absolutely delicious. Most certainly a step up from my brown packet of 1-minute  oats.

Now a year and a half into our relationship, she introduced me recently to rosemary potatoes with eggs over easy and my favorite bulletproof coffee. Decaf, of course. OMG, so yummy!

Nearly everyday for the last year and a half, Maggie gets up early and gets to business on her projects and work. When she hears me rustle around in bed she starts breakfast. Sometimes I’ll send her a morning text … a sunshine and a kiss icon to say “good morning sunshine” and let her know I’m awake. Other times our dog, Sophie, lets her know I’m awake by standing guard at the bedroom door. Both Sophie and Maggie burst into the room, Maggie with a huge smile and her body full of cuddles and love and Sophie with a toy and sloppy dog kisses and uncoordinated jumping on the bed. In return, I greet them with the biggest “I love you and I’m so happy to see you and wake up to you today” smile.

Those two, they are the sweetest thing, ever.

I often get up and we chat over coffee while Maggie cooks breakfast and the morning sunshine greets us through our kitchen window. We talk about our days, our dreams, and our ideas about things. Other times, I stay in bed (or fall back asleep, who I am kidding?) and 30 minutes later the bedroom door opens gently and she greets me with a smile and breakfast in bed.

Our good friend, Ashley, took this photo of us for a photography project she did capturing couple’s morning stories. This is our life together. Every morning, no matter what we eat for breakfast we stop, look at each other and before taking a bite, we cheers each other by gently touching our bowls together, kiss and then enjoy our breakfast. It’s our way of seeing each other, taking literally a moment for each other and honoring the time in the morning that we get to spend together and showing gratitude for the day ahead.

It feels like a dream. I know.

It’s the stuff that people roll their eyes at (you probably already did), break up over feeling seen and heard, wonder if it’s real, why people do it and how they can have it too.

Honestly, I wondered when our morning breakfast together would stop. When our morning story wouldn’t include my favorite part of my entire day. When would she get tired of “wooing” me? When would my pure delight and joy each time she makes breakfast for us fade into the background of a busy morning? When would her days get so packed that she forgets? Would she always remember that breakfast is my favorite part of the day with her? That it absolutely makes my day?

Breakfast together hasn’t stopped. While life may get busy, it’s up to us to make the time for the important things. It’s up to us to see each other, hear each other and to take the time for the things that matter.

That’s what love is. It’s knowing what means the most to each other. Even when we don’t’ know it ourselves. I didn’t know I’d grow to love breakfast with Maggie until she came along. I didn’t know it would absolutely make my day and I didn’t know I needed that time together in the morning for us together to feel loved and connected and honored. That’s the beauty of love though, we learn things about each other that we never would have otherwise. We become better … together.

If at any point while reading this, you caught yourself rolling your eyes, feeling bad about yourself, wishing it for your life, judging me for mine, or disliking me for sharing… Stop and take a moment to make important moments and memories a part of your relationship. What could you do to honor the person who has chosen to spend their life on and with you? How will you love? If you aren’t in a relationship, add it to your list of things you want in your relationship. You damn well deserve it.

Most of all, take time to care about each other in relationship, in friendship, in work. I write this also as a reminder to myself.

While this website started as stories about me as a gay woman living in the world, most of all, it’s about LOVE.

Giving love, sharing love, being love, making love, feeling love, CHOOSING LOVE…